Words Unsaid

"So here's my idea: let's all stop being little fucks. Respect other people enough to tell them the truth. If someone makes you happy, tell them. If someone inspires you, tell them. If you're not interested in someone, please just fucking tell them. Don't ignore people until they disappear. It's time we grow up and stop leaving people hanging with unanswered texts and cryptic social media posts. Everyone is human and we're all just trying to understand one another in this messy dating world, so stop treating a relationship of any kind like it’s a challenge to complete. Be honest with other people about how you feel and don't get so lost in playing the game that you forget to extend that same courtesy to yourself." - Unknown

I read this in an article a while back and screen shot it. My heart was on fire (a good one) after reading the article, but especially the passage above. 

The fire in my heart was a tad conflicted, however. For I have been guilty of falling off the face of earth in my past, and I have not forgotten it. It was much easier than confronting the person, saying that "I cannot see a future with you," "I am talking to someone else and would really like to give things a try with them," and etc. And those would have been the exact phrases out of my mouth. I tend to sugarcoat nada when I am being honest. But it is never to be rude, and I do not mind the same to be said in return to me. That saying: treat others the way you want to be treated--that is my motto. So I truly try to stand by it, aware that the same words can be spoken to me. Yeah, the words might hurt for a moment, but at least they are being honest. I can respect honesty. Not telling half-truths or lying. Or pretending.

For over a year, though, the passage has been precisely how I try to carry myself--honest, baring and communicative to the best of my ability.

Is it easy?

Hell no.

But is it vital?

I would say so. Without a doubt.

In my twenty-two years of life, I have come to find that communication is key. It is not only vital for relationships (romantic), but friendships, work places--everything. One lack of communication can lead to a chain of misunderstandings. Me, personally, it is only frustrating and more work to have to "go back in time" and try to explain this and that, when it could have been hashed out the second it came to be. Or a clear realization happened. 

But I am gradually learning, that is typically merely me.

I do not think many see how much guts it takes for a person to speak their mind or share their thoughts sometimes. In all honesty, it can be downright fearful at times. 

"When I am afraid to speak is when I speak. That is when it is most important." - Nayyirah Waheed

I allow that quote to resonate with me each and every time I fret speaking my mind--every time I fret writing that blog or this blog, or anything to do with my writings that may be made public.

This blog, I do not share easily. My mind, I do not share easily. I used to never let anyone in out of fear-- fear of what others would think of me, how I would come off. It was only through another person's bravery that I felt brave enough to share my stories, thoughts and feelings in hopes that I could reach others just like me and not like me. 

I do not believe communication should be any different.

I am not saying go tell the whole world your life story or just anyone. Some people will never deserve to know you, because they are only there to steal you away. Not add. 

Again, the honesty is not to be rude or downright hateful. A difference in tone and demeanor speaks wonders to get honest words across.

But just be honest. 

Relieve the stress of "egg shell walking."

And if that puts you in a place you might not have foreseen or that you did not truly want, move along knowing that at least you held nothing back and got out what you wanted to truly say.

I will always choose to leave this earth with no important words unsaid than to take them to the grave with me.